In an earlier post, I wrote that I'd learned that editing wasn't just a step, but an entire flight of stairs in the proverbial climb to writing a book. That is all too true. I mentioned that a former English professor and friend, Kathe was going to edit my book. This has not occurred. She is quite busy, and by novel is not small, and a marvelous thing interrupted the process.
I have an agent.
That's right. Count me among the fortunate few to have found an agent. But Paul is in many ways much better than just an agent. He's also become a marvelous friend. Even though he doesn't read fantasy, he agreed to edit my book. He also started reading fantasy to find out what it's all about and see if he couldn't learn some new tricks.
Turns out writing is pretty much writing. The same editing principles apply to the fantasy genre as apply to any other genre. His lack of experience in the genre has led to me questioning many of the elements that are acceptable in the genre. For example, almost every fantasy novel I've ever read is filled with description--much of it needless. If a sentence isn't absolutely essential, Paul is right there to challenge me to find a shorter way of communicating the same. He's also showed me the power of word choices (especially verbs) and pointed out grammatical mistakes I repeatedly make. But editing is much more than fixing grammatical errors. It's about making the book better.
I recently let my 17 year old brother read the book. The first 15 chapters have been heavily edited in this style while the rest was still on the last version. He noticed the difference. He said the first section flowed better than the later parts. He couldn't say exactly why it was different, only that he noticed.
Editing in this way takes a long time. I think it's actually harder to edit my book than it was to write it. But I'm pressing on. I'll leave you with this example:
This is the opening to Chapter 14 Version 6 (65 words):
Daeden slipped down the dark alley, careful to make little noise. The air stank from the piles of refuse, and the grime on the walls made his hands hesitant, but he pressed himself through the narrow opening and shot through a door, only to wait in the abandoned shack a moment before doubling back and passing the very walls whose grime now stained his clothes.
Here is Version 7 of the same section (56 words):
Verithor Daeden made little noise as he stole down the dark alley. The air stank and the grime on the walls made his hands hesitant, but he squeezed through a narrow breach to hide in an abandoned shack, waiting only a moment before doubling back and passing the very walls whose grime now stained his clothes.
I don't know if the new version is perfect, but it's better. First, it's shorter. It's 13% shorter than the original. If I cut 13% out of my Version 6 manuscript then the book goes from 162,000 words to 141,000 words. That's a really big jump in the right direction. Paul would be really excited if I can get it down to 120,000 words. I don't think that's happening, but the closer the better. Next, there are better verbs in V7. Stole and squeezed are just a little more clear than slipped and pressed. Finally, there are five breaks in V7 compared to seven in V6. Breaks are pauses in the flow of the narrative. You must have pauses, but many times those pauses can slow down the pace unnecessarily. Breaks are often characterized by periods, commas and the word and when it is connecting two phrases.
Those are the kinds of changes that I'm painstakingly making throughout my entire manuscript. This isn't a guarantee that I'll get published. But I'm hoping it's another step in the right direction.
